The show was based on Ruby Wax’s life, going from the “loser” at school to fame and fortune, to depression. She had the house of her dreams, a devoted husband and three children yet she felt lost in her life, and as she often mentioned “I didn’t have a manual”.

Judith Owen made a fine musical sidekick as she broke out into song after every monologue performed by Ruby. Judith had an incredible voice and played beautifully on the piano.

I laughed a lot but it was also incredibly moving, there was a good mixture of humour and serious messages throughout, it was a roller coaster of emotions.

Ruby was definately on top form and it is really refreshing to see that she is so open about her mental health issues. Although things are shifting, there still is a massive stigma towards mental health issue. Ruby added that if she had a broken leg she would get heaps of get well soon cards, but when she went to the Priory Clinic to treat her depression she didn’t get any.

Steve Light

"Maybe Bullies Just Want to Be Loved?"

Dr Todd Kashdan and Dr Patrick E. McKnight, Psychologists at George Mason University discovered a link between bullying and social anxiety and also found that obese children were more likely to be bullied regardless of race, gender, religion, resulting in increased levels of anxiety and depression.

My own reflection relating to this article explains an awful lot about how I behaved during my school years. At the age of 11 I weighed a hefty 14 stone, I was about 5 foot 4 inches tall and has a gigantic 40 inch waist. I loathed every inch of my being (I was a shy yet happy child going through primary school, I felt safe within the confides of the old Victorian building).

I had a permanent sick feeling in my stomach walking to and from school, I was waiting to get taunted or attacked by bullies so I kept my self to my self. One boy said to me on the way home from school “I’m going to cut off your tits and cook them as hamburgers“ I felt totally overwhelmed with fear, it engulfed my whole body, I just shuffled along with my head down, hands in my pockets, hoping that he would leave me alone.

Every single morning without fail I got bullied by a couple of boys in my tutor group, one of them was called Daniel. I sat down of a morning and began to sweat with anticipation that he would verbally abuse me. He would often point out to me that I was sweating, which made me so much more anxious. When the register was read out by our form tutor, I dreaded answering my name, Daniel would mimic my voice and some of the class would laugh. Looking back, this particular reoccurring incident was fundamental in my decreasing self-esteem the way I felt about my voice.

I felt stuck in this “victim” mind set for the whole of the first one and a half years at secondary school, I guess it’s hard for a lot of people, new surroundings, teachers and new people.

Then it all changed, I grew to 6 foot, lost a stone in weight, my waistline shrunk 6 inches. Even though fundamentally I felt scared and anxious all the time, I began to be a bit more cocky. I put on a front of  “tough guy” so I would get noticed, I felt like a nobody for the first 18 months of secondary school so now was my turn to be a bully.

I wouldn’t say that I was bully in the usual sense of the word, I never hurt any one physically or emotionally who was weaker or smaller than me. I was after the big guys in my year, I wanted to be the toughest boy in the year so I started getting into fights with some of the other “tough guys”.

I started going to under 18′s club nights with my friends also known as “Nappy Nights”. I got my first ever kiss there at the age of 14. I felt great, I felt like I was one of the cool kids at last, but on one occasion I remember leaving the night club and I got attacked by a group of kids, one of them punched by in the back on the head, I felt like crying, I guess from that moment I felt like the fat, short, ugly kid from a couple of years ago, I just wanted to be hugged by my mum.

It goes to show that there is so much more than meets the eye, with my armour on, teachers really didn’t know what was going on inside, I was a extremely shy, socially anxious child who just wanted to be loved, but was damned if he’d ever share it with any one, especially teachers, as that would be incredibly sad!

Check it out The New York Times Bullying and Social Anxiety Article

Buy Todd Kashdan’s Book entitled: Curious?: Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life

Steve Light

Leading Light

Depression is a common mental illness which is estimated to affect up to one in five Britons at some point in their lifetime and to cost the UK about £8bn a year in medication, benefits and lost working days.

It can strike at any age and the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness attached to it can make it difficult for people to carry out their normal activities.

It can be more or less severe and symptoms are often varied, making it often hard to diagnose.

It is thought that some individuals may be more prone to depression, whether because of life experiences, their body chemistry or genetically inherited conditions.

Those who have suffered from depression include Sir Winston Churchill and Florence Nightingale.

read full article >>

1. Looking back over the past 27 and a half years of my life so far, I have a clear view of how my struggle with my shyness and social anxiety manifested itself.
2. 1: Premature Birth
3. 2: Genetics
4. 3: Upbringing
5. 4: Traumatic Events

Looking back over the past 27 and a half years of my life so far, I have a clear view of how my struggle with my shyness and social anxiety manifested itself.

1: Premature Birth

I found out recentley premature birth can be a cause of anxiety for a child. It is a traumatic experience for the newborn and adrenaline levels often stay at higher than usual level. I was born 2 months premature and feel that this could be the starting point of things in my life.

2: Genetics

My biological parents are anxious people, especially my biological father. I have known him for 7 years now and from the first time I met him, I could tell from his manerisms that he was suffering with some form of social anxiety. I was told stories about my dad in his younger years, totally avoiding certain situations such as shopping, he would clam up if a shop assistant approached him. I can tell that my biological mum suffers with some form of anxiety due to the use of nicotine and alcohol to calm her nerves.

3: Upbringing

Looking back, I got everything I wanted as a child, I was very spoilt. I was adopted by my grandparents, who I call mum and dad. My mum is an anxious person, she worries alot and I feel strongly that I saw the world as a scary place growing up because of it. My dad is a self confident person but he is not a very sociable person, I didn’t really have conversations with my dad until a few years ago. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves me more than anything, he just found it hard to show it. Which i learned from him, I find it hard to open up.

4: Traumatic Events

At the age of 3 I was forced to play with other children at a disco on holiday with my parents. I was so scared, absolutely terrified, I ran back to my dad with tears in my eyes. From that moment I decided that people were scary, I would be cautious in talking to people because I didn’t want to feel that scared again.

So there you go, there is the rough guide to how my feelings of social anxiety manifested themselves in my life.

Just remember that anxiety is not you nor is it a part of your personality. Some of it may be conditioned or genetic, but you can unlearn it and become happy in your own skin. You can reach a confidence level that you want in your life.

Take care

Steve